Oooo...the "L" word! :)

So…there is this day coming up next Friday, some love it, some dread it…some think of it as just a dumb, made up “Holiday” that was designed just drive consumers to buy flowers and jewelry.  Whatever your view is on Valentine’s Day, the fact remains that for many it is a day that they set aside to truly show their significant others how much they mean to them, how much they love them.

I think love is a word that truly is used actually pretty lightly by some people.  I think I used it pretty lightly for a long time myself.  In the last few years I have really taken the time to truly reflect and find out to me, what it means to LOVE someone.  In the context of this post, I am talking about a romantic type of love, specifically the love I have for Keith, my husband.

On our Wedding Day - November 27, 2004

 When I started to look into it, I wanted to really have God at the center.  I wanted to know what God told me about love.  One of the best places I knew to start was 1 Corinthians 13, it’s what people commonly refer to as “the love verse”.  It has really helped me to fully understand to ME what love means.  So, I wanted to share it with you today! 

I wanted to take specifically verses 4-8 and show you how I honestly have reflected on them for myself.  You don’t have to agree with me, and you don’t have to believe what I believe.  I am lead by my heart and love to share my heart with others, so…enjoy!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient,

I do not need an immediate response to questions or immediate action to a request, I need to be patient (one of the hardest things for me on a daily basis!)

love is kind.

DO NOT say nasty things in any way, shape or form.  Not only TO Keith, but ABOUT Keith…I don’t need to and should not complain about him to others.  It IS my responsibility as his wife to talk to him if I have problems or concerns.  That is where solutions can be found, not in bad mouthing him to others. Be kind not only in words that are spoken, but thoughts as well!

It does not envy,

Honest truth and example, for a while when I started staying at home, I used to be jealous of the fact that he went out and got out of the house and had conversations with actual adults every day!  I love my children VERY much, but it was an adjustment to have more conversations with a 3 year old all day, every day.

it does not boast,

Ooooo…can I say….TOUGH ONE!!! Here it is…when I am right and he is wrong (when it happens, because one of the most amazing things about Keith, even if it is frustrating at times, is he is almost always right! Yes, I know I put it in writing on the internet and now it is documented for life – it’s true!)  BUT when it does happen, I do not need to and should not do a “happy dance” and make a huge spectacle to prove and relish in the fact that I was right. 

it is not proud.

I should not be too proud to admit when I was wrong either.  Along with the admitting, I can take it like a champ (yes – I am can be a CHAMPION at being wrong, it’s not always about winning) and move on.

⁵ It does not dishonor others,

This kind of goes back to being kind, but I try very hard to be conscious of what I am doing and saying around others because as Keith’s wife, I believe that it is FAR from my place to be disrespectful or dishonor him in any way. 

it is not self-seeking,

I do not need to look at and focus on what I need from Keith and I’s relationship.  I can tell him (because sometimes – not all, I am aware it is not a blanket statement – men need things to just be plain and simple, laid out and explained in plain English to what women want because we as women can tend to be a little cryptic sometimes, we all know it’s true.) what I am feeling, but I do not need to focus on myself, I need to focus on Keith and what I can do to be a better wife FOR HIM.

it is not easily angered,

Sometimes I feel like this specific part of this verse was written specifically says “All decendants of Lawrence Seiwert, please highlight this, underline it, and MEMORIZE THIS”.  I am completely joking of course…I do think that genetically I did get my “hot” temper from my father, but it’s MY temper and I am the one who can and should control it.  This one is probably the most hard to follow for me.  It’s a truly daily struggle, but I work very hard to try my best and that is the most I can do.  I will continue to work and seek God’s help and I know in time it will become easier, it has already!  

it keeps no record of wrongs.

When I first started thinking about this one, really truly thinking about it and what it meant, I won’t lie, I thought at first, “I can follow them all, but this one…I don’t know about this…” You know what??? It has taken me a LONG time and it is still a daily battle as well (really all of them are – I am human, that is what being a human is all about), but I can tell you with full honesty that this is the one that can be the MOST freeing and truly improve your relationship the most. When you are “wronged” in your relationship, LET IT GO!  I am not saying that you have to forget everything thing that has happened, you probably won’t ever forget.  That is also a part of being human, we don’t forget wrong doings - “Forgive and Forget”, I’m sorry, I don’t believe that actually exists.  You CAN however FORGIVE and let go.  Let go of the hard, ill, hurtful, sick, damaging feelings that are associated with the action and it will truly change your life.  I think I could write an entire post on this.  It has been truly life changing for me, it’s not something that is easy, and it’s something that many people never fully be able to grasp and practice, but I hope for you that you can take a look at your life and try, really try to make this a common practice.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

This one was kind of hard for me to wrap my head around at first.  What it came to mean for me at least, is that I do not relish or focus on the bad (evil) in my relationship; I focus on the good (truth).  I don’t need to let evil rule over my truth in knowing I chose Keith and he chose me and we made a commitment before each other, our friends and family and above all, God to our relationship.

⁷ It always protects,

I will protect Keith at all costs literally and figuratively.  I would lay my life down for him if it came to it and I will protect him and his name in the same way I talked about being kind and not dishonoring him, I will defend him and also not talk about him in negative ways to others.

always trusts,

I trust Keith.  I trust him in his word (what he tells me) and to lead our family and truly be the head of our household.  End of story.

always hopes,

I will NEVER lose faith in Keith and in the man that he is and can be.  He is absolutely amazing.  It has been proven, tested, and proven again that he is a true man of God and he is just incredible.  I will help him as his wife to be the best version of himself at all times.  That is what I know I can do for him as his wife and I count it as a privilege.

always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

This is a HUGE one for me. I will always do my best to never fail Keith.  When I make a promise, I will follow through.  When I know he is relying on me to do something (even as small as make his lunch every day and set out his AdvoCare stuff for the next morning.  I do it every day, and there are nights that I forget…but I will not let myself go to sleep until I make that lunch and get everything set out for him. It is something I can do for him and he relies on, so I do it), I will always do everything in my power to follow through for him.  It is truly simple, but can me so very much.

So, like I said, in everything I talked about, I am talking about how I love Keith, my husband.  I want to add too, these are the ways that I love Keith, I am responsible for only myself to this point.  I am responsible for my actions, and what I do to show love.  I am not responsible for Keith and I am not holding count of what he does for me to show he loves me and compare it to the ways that I believe I can show love for him - there is no score card in loving someone.

This love is also a different type of love than the love I have for my friends and family, but every single one of these same truths apply in each situation.  The descriptions may be different, but the truth of love is the same. 

I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day and if you have a special someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with on Friday, that is truly wonderful…but don’t let that one day be the day you shower them and show them in every possible way how much they mean to you and how much you love them.  Do it every day (maybe just add in a special card on Valentine’s Day – and maybe dinner, dinner is nice too! ;))!